We’ve started this week by celebrating International Women’s Day. We gifted tulips, shared the work of women business owners on our social media feeds & told women around us that we love them.

Now that was cute.

But that is not enough.

More than the joyful messages, those telling the actual truth really stuck with me. I published a REEL with 6 things women entrepreneurs are tired of hearing on the day. I got sent a bunch of other comments women constantly get to deal with, they all made me laugh, but that shouldn’t be our reality.

It’s 2021 and we’re still not compensating women for their work equally to men.

We think that it’s normal for women to be afraid walking back home late at night. We carry keys in our hands, are prepared to hit back, pretend to be on the phone with someone, take a longer route to avoid dark corners. We dress appropriately, stay low, just so we don’t trigger others, and are not blamed for well… just being ourselves.

Cause it’s always been this way, but I’m so fu**ing tired of this. Aren’t you?

Reading the news of Sarah’s Everard kidnapping left me devastated. I used to drive through Clapham Junction all the time back when I’ve lived in the UK. I also remember I used to ask Tomas to meet me by the metro station after work, not because it’s cute, but because I felt like I needed protection.

I know it’s not gonna change overnight, but we should stop ignoring this once and for all.

Now it’s not hard. It does not have to be. Let’s not pretend & simply start making a change today.

If you’re a man:

• First, just listen! Stop telling ‘not all men are like this’ when someone opens up about their experience. We know that, but we need you to acknowledge the injustice;
• ‘not all men’ is the same as ‘all lives matters’, don’t be that guy;
• Learn about consent. You might think you’re a good guy & I bet you are, but you need to hear YES loud and clear, not just decide what she thinks;
• Stop those ‘it’s just a joke’ sayings. Seriously, this is enough;
• Don’t ignore sexist conversations around you. Stop them;
• Stop criticizing, commenting, or mocking female bodies;
• Keep an eye out for women around you. It’s common for women to stay quiet when someone behaves inappropriately. If you see a strange guy trying to talk to a woman on a bus and she seems uncomfortable – step in;
• Don’t feel uncomfortable if your act of kindness is not greeted with a smile, honestly, we’re just so tired of it all still happening;
• If you’re walking late at night and see a woman in front of you, be the one to cross the street. She’s probably walking there with the keys in her hand, just trying to get home as quickly as possible. Give her some space & peace of mind;

If you’re a woman:

• Do not ignore sexist jokes from your male or female friends. This is not ok and you know it. Even if you know they don’t actual feel this way and are just saying those things to look cool or sarcastic – step in;
• If you feel your friend is in an abusive relationship – talk to her, offer your support, don’t ignore the problem until it’s too late;
• Support one another. Women dragging other women down has to stop once and for all. We can only make a change if we stick together;
• Seek equal relationships. Change has to first start at your own house.
• Don’t lower your dreams to help your male partner achieve success in life. Your dreams are equal, show up for them equally too;
• Educate yourself. Stop ignoring the problem;
• Don’t use your womanhood as an excuse to not do something. This is where it all begins. Things such as ‘real women shouldn’t be talking the trash out’ might feel like a small thing, but this way we paint a picture of us being somehow incapable. It’s ok to ask for help and divide your house chores, but this shouldn’t come from our learned behavior;
• Re-think your choices. What are the things you’re doing because you think this is what women are supposed to do? You shouldn’t base your life decisions on gender norms;
• Stop pleasing others;
• Stop saying sorry;
• Stop apologizing for being too loud, too career-driven, too ambitious;
• Show up for yourself, your dreams, and your future. You deserve the best;

If you’re a parent:

• Talk to your kids about boundaries & consent. It should be a normal thing in your family to talk about it;
• Don’t ever shame your daughter for the things that are not ladylike. This term has to go once and for all;
• Explain to your kids what sexism is and why we can’t ignore it;
• Don’t ever ignore aggression or inappropriate behavior coming from your son thinking ‘oh he’s just a boy, he’ll grow out of it…’;
• Buy a variety of toys for your kids. Your son should be allowed to play with dolls and your daughter should be free to have a weird obsession with trucks;
• Talk about strong female leaders around your kids;
• Don’t ever criticize the looks of women around your kids;
• Get used to feeling uncomfortable, answer honestly when your kid asks you about gender norms or sex. Don’t think they are too little to understand the matter;

I think I could have this list going & I will make sure to update it as I go, but I just needed to put this out there. Share this post with your friends & family, this should work as a reminder for us all to make a change in our behavior. The time has come. Let’s stop this.