This year I kind of felt into a hole where everyone seemed to be doing better than I am & well, that doesn’t feel OK. The thing is- I spend more time on social media than any regular human being & it’s natural for anyone to compare ourselves to others at some point. Don’t lie, you do that too. The question here is- how do we use social media without letting it ruin our self-confidence?

According to R. Durvasula, social media is basically social comparison on steroids. People showcase the most aspirational version of themselves on social media—new houses, expensive dinners, exotic vacations. It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others in order to learn how to behave and gauge societal expectations, but this becomes problematic when it feeds low self-esteem or causes anxiety. What we don’t see on social media are people fighting with their loved ones, getting fired or paying taxes. This isn’t fair, but that’s what’s happening.

Alright, so I seem to understand every single part of this phenomenon, yet it still somehow managed to get me…  This is just how crazy it all is.

Wondering how I finally got over this? Well, I realised that I am actually the one in charge here. No-one, absolutely no-one is forcing me to use social media & when I do use it, it is completely up to me to decide how I am going to perceive the content.

Limiting the time I spent on social media also seems like an obvious decision at this time. I’m still going to be posting daily, but I feel like I don’t actually need that half an hour scroll session before bed or as soon as I wake up. Just as I don’t really need to follow the people that let me down…

For example, I don’t seek luxury in life. I seek for stories, nature & peace of mind. I love people that bring purpose, people that choose to live in the wild and prefer long talks by the fire over any fashion show. Yet for some reason, my feed used to be filled with pictures of fancy travels or fashion weeks. Since realising this, I have unfollowed quite a bunch of influencers that have nothing to do with who I am or my values.

In fact, we all need to be just a bit pickier in what do we choose to follow. This can improve our feelings towards social media big time.

Choosing to follow influencers that stand out for your values & seeing them do well, will leave you feeling inspired rather than jealous.

Ultimately, social media comparisons aren’t necessarily indicative of what others have that you don’t. As unpleasant as these comparisons can feel, they can also serve a positive purpose in that they inform us of an area of our lives that may benefit from some improvement. Get to know YOU & be YOU. Understand what you need & go for your dreams. Put yourself first, always! Life is way more fun this way!

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