Can you believe it? I have a human being growing in my belly!

Seriously have no idea how to go about writing this post. I am 20 weeks pregnant as of today and our little boy is due to arrive in the first weeks of June. This still sounds a bit foreign to me and even though I can firmly start feeling his kicks, I’m still taking my time to understand my new status and figuring out how my life is going to change.

Tomas and I have always kind of knew we were going to become parents one day and especially in the last couple of years, we felt like it’s just a matter of time of when we decide to make this happen. We’ve bought our first home during the summer, we’ve spent the last year traveling and building our business and now… the timing simply felt right. However, life has been seriously a bit busy as it is, but I am not trying to complain over here. In fact, I believe this is the happiest I’ve ever been.

Pregnancy brought all kinds of emotions tho. The other night I was reading a book about leadership with my other book about motherhood lying next to me and I’ve started to feel a bit anxious about the idea of my old self not being able to manage these new tasks well enough.

That well-know mothers-guilt came into my life a bit too early and suddenly I have found myself feeling bad for planning projects ahead instead of spending all my time reading pregnancy books and splurging on baby stuff.

You see, I hopefully wish to continue my businesses with the baby on my lap and have the best possible partner I could have chosen for this to be possible, yet since the early days of adulthood, all I remember hearing about motherhood is how hard it is going to be… Because of this, I’ve always kept telling myself I should wait for the right time, I should take few years off work once I pregnant and I should turn my life upside down to become a mom.

However, now I don’t feel like my initial plan is the right plan for me. I believe that society keeps to try and push motherhood into a frame that does not necessarily fits us all. These days, I’m trying to make a new plan possible where parenthood could be and is going to be harmonized with a full-time career.

Challenge accepted.

Now I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to explain my feelings here. It is what is and the best thing being pregnant has taught me is that listening to your inner guts and what your soul + body needs is the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves.

For this reason, as much as I might sound a bit lost in my feelings, deep down I actually feel very calm.

The baby is growing fine, I’m feeling well and I didn’t get to experience any of those horror symptoms. I’ve found out about my pregnancy at the end of September and since then we’ve finished renovating our apartment, moved in and started to settle. We also had the busiest time designing your awesome blogs, growing a brand new project and the baby has been a real team-player in all of this already.

I’m halfway through my pregnancy and as much as I feel like I know nothing about taking care of the baby, I know for sure he’s going to arrive into a very loving home. Tomas’ been simply the best in all of this and we’re beyond excited to meet our latest addition in a few months.

Baby’s room still looks more like a stock room, so we will have quite a few things to take care of until then, but we’ll be fine.

We’re fine.

This simply feels so right, I have no other words to describe it.